In recognition of Valentine’s Day, it is timely to reflect upon love and romance in the modern age. Everyone seeks a connection with another like-minded person: someone to share life’s joys and challenges. Sometimes in life, we find ourselves without a partner and go out in search of that special someone, and sometimes that search leads us to online dating. And that is where the danger lies.

In love as in life, you tend to get what you pay for. No, not like that, but with dating websites. Everyone likes to save money, but free websites are full of frauds, liars and criminals. Just Google the phrase “dating fraudsters” and you will find all of the ugly details of hopeful romantics who were conned out of their life savings. Unfortunately, even legitimate sites that charge hefty fees still have con artists as members. Religiously-oriented sites are prime pickings, as honest members expect honesty in return.

So what is a romantic to do?

First, heed the warnings of the dating site operators: NEVER SEND MONEY. TO ANYONE. EVER. When someone asks you for money, it is a scam. There are no exceptions, and once the money is gone, you will never get it back.

Next, exercise caution in creating your profile. It is easy for a criminal to identify a potential prospect when the profile picture shows an exotic locale, and personal details describing lifestyle, travel, and hobbies are provided. Beware of the person whose profile has grammar mistakes and internal inconsistencies, they usually mean that the writer is foreign, thereby raising the risk of fraud. Beware, also, of the person who is never available to meet. Someone truly interested in a relationship wants to meet a new partner. Perpetual excuses that delay an in-person meeting suggest a fraud.

Finally, be suspicious. The internet provides vast resources for checking someone’s background. Most adults have an internet presence. Google addresses, look at satellite views of claimed residences and work places. Double check everything and believe nothing without independent verification.

None of this sounds very romantic, but it is even less romantic to realize that you have been bilked out of your life savings and have your romantic dreams dashed at the same time. There are good people to be found on dating websites and many happy relationships have arisen through online matches. The key to happiness, however, is caution with a healthy dose of skepticism.